Days 1 & 2 of Kicking My Own Ass

Current Body Stats:
188 lbs / 5'3" / 30 yrs / Lazy AF

It takes me like 20 min to walk 1 mi / I can't keep balance on a real bike / I have no kidney function anymore, so I'm on dialysis. NO I actually don't have any other health problems. I just only have 1 kidney & it has issues.

Ok now that you're familiar with my physical situation....I'm going to the gym now. I went twice and I consider that an accomplishment, tbh. Now that my lungs are no longer full of fluid (due to said kidney failure), I can actually walk and get around quite like a normal person. Now I just have to lose some weight and get in shape.

I am poor, but I found some amazing steals.

$15 - "Running" shoes by Champion / Payless Shoes
$12 - Gym Leggings by RBX / TJ Maxx
$4 - Fancy Water Bottle by Bubba / Ross
$10/mo - Gym Membership / Plante Fitness

This is the only time in my life I have ever actually done something purposely to get in shape or lose weight. Other than in high school when I straight up didn't eat and lived off of crunches and sit-ups. DON'T DO THAT.

GOAL #1 - I need to be able to ride a bike for 30 minutes on my own by May 31st. Literally no I can not keep balance on a bike bc I have no leg muscle. 

GOAL #2 - Lose 10 lbs by April 31st. Keepin it nice & easy. If I do more, I do more, but I won't flip shit if I don't.

BRB with an account of my experience at said gym.

Peace.

Day 1: I went by myself. My best friend Krissi talked me into beginning the habit, and I was a Brave Bitch and went by myself. Planet Fitness is literally 3 minutes from my house, so I couldn't use distance as an excuse. Also, they are open 24 hours, so I couln't use time as an excuse. So I drove my happy ass over to Payless and bought some cheap sneakers and laced 'em up. I proceeded to talk to the Planet Fitness employees in about 5 different manners: First, I tried "Lost & Cute," then I tried "Bored bc this is all so normal," then I tried "Confident as shit!" etc... Anyway, the nice thing is that the actual customers don't make eye contact (mainly because they don't give a FUCK what you are doing, which is nice), so I could quickly drop my act and just be terrified.

Day 2: Look, I don't mean to make this a Heartwarming Tale or anything, but people are pretty nice at the gym and they really just wanna do their squats and mind their own business. They don't care that I'm sweating my ass off and only able to bike for like 10 minutes. Krissi really kicked my ass on Day 2. I was like "Hey, let's do abs! That's fun!" And she's like "Muahahahaha I'll show YOU Ab Day!!!" Jk I mean it was tough but I survived and we're still friends.

Going to the gym gives me something to do when I'm bored that doesn't involve driving around aimlessly, shopping for no reason, or eating. So I'd say it's worth the $10 investment per month.

Please stand by for the VERY EXCITING post about my current Bath & Beauty routine (mostly Bath). I bought a bunch of weird and awesome bathing/cleaning shit, and I have lots of pics.

What The Hell Am I Blogging About?

Hello 👋

Rule #️⃣1️⃣➡️ Allow yourself to know me through writing over time - and not some corny introduction paragraph.

💬 What you can expect: Literally rants. Likes 👍 & Dilikes 👎. However, I *am* a Gemini ♊️ and prone to veer wildly off topic. I’ll try to keep it together 🙃 Can you win a Pulitzer from this crap? Asking for a friend.

Segment Ideas:
🎞Movie Reviews
📻Music Rants
💉My Crazy Death Journey (I’m dying)
👩‍⚕️My Crazy Health Journey (I’m trying not to die)
📸Photos of Random Shit
🎙Occasional Political Mini-Rants

Please stand by for THIS WEEK’S HIGHLIGHTS. SOON. ✌️