I never know whether I want this blog to be miserable or inspiring. I'm a pretty miserable angry person most of the time, but I spend ALL my time with other people trying to be pleasant when I'm usually full rage.
Aaaaand here's my favorite part: Rants!
Raging Against Time & Money - I love money but I don't make enough of it. I'm not one of those poor people who say they hate money just because they don't have any. I LOVE MONEY. And when I really fucking need the spare change, I work more. I have 1.5 jobs. I work full time, in Sales, at a hotel (a nice one), but I only make $13.72/hr. This is not ideal. However, this is the most I have ever made at a job, and I'm not in a management position. After taxes I make appx $1750/mo. I am literally breaking down my bills below:
+1750
-425 (Rent)
-350 (Health Ins)
-120 (Car Ins + Car Payment)
-100 (Phone)
-60 (Utilities)
-50 (Netflix, Spotify, Movie Pass, Ipsy, Planet Fitness)
-25 (Credit Card)
=$595 left
Gives me about $148/ week to spend on Gas, Groceries, Food, Fun, Laundromat, Car Maint, etc. Like my bills are not that insane but seriously it leaves very little room for savings. I'm literally living paycheck to paycheck. My life is as follows:
Monday: Work 7:30-3:30, Dialysis 4-9
Tuesday: Work 7:30-4:30
Wednesday: Work 7:30-3:30, Dialysis 4-9
Thursday: Work 7:0-4:30, Score Trivia 7-9:30
Friday: Work 7:30-3:30, Dialysis 4-9
Sat: usually off
Sun: usually work 7-3
As you can see, I have very little free time. Anything I want to do as far as errands, laundry, cleaning, cooking, or any normal housework, must be done on Tuesday evening, Sunday evening, or at some point on Saturday. When do you relax, you ask? At dialysis. I sleep for a couple hours and watch a bunch of Netflix. Is is a comfortable, relaxing, pleasant environment where you can sleep peacefully and listen to music and movies without interruption? Hell no. In fact, most of you probably wouldn't be able to relax or sleep at all, but by the end of the day I'm so damn exhausted I can't even wait to close my eyes. Any kind of overtime I work just cuts into my social life or time for chores or my sleep. I have roughly 24 hours per week to get shit done and see my friends, and my poor boyfriend. I'm basically a ghost to him. Any hour that I sleep in cuts into that. Any 2 hours I spend at the laundromat cuts into that. If I spend about 4 hours a week at the gym, that leaves 20 hours a week remaining...Any 30 minutes I spend doing literally anything cuts into my time to have fun. On top of this - remember that whole $148/week to spend on actually doing anything with my life. This is why my house is a hot mess and never clean. This is why I never can find clothes, bc I'll do laundry and let 5 bags of clean clothes sit around for 2 weeks before putting it all away. This is why I can't go to the Cubs game with my friends, or go for a drink whenever I want.
So the fact that I feel like all I do is work and other shit I don't wanna do combined with the fact that I never fucking have time or money to do anything fun...it makes me pretty miserable. And how can I have a better attitude about it? Besides, it's all my own fault. I could've spend $220 or so a month on health insurance a long ass time ago and I wouldn't be dying and have to pay double that for healthcare (my beloved mother pays the other $150/mo) and spend 15 hours a week at dialysis wasting my life. I literally go do dialysis for what? To prolong my life? So I can run this rat race until something else kills me, not having any fun along the way? It's a real problem.
Now taking suggestions for fun & free activities that can be done on weekends and Tuesday evenings. Thank you.
Peace out, girl scouts - The Living Dead Girl
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